Just 4 years ago at the ripe age of 34 I finally got married to my husband. Upon being asked if I was going to change my name I hesitated, I deliberated and decided to avoid that question until the next time I would be backed into a corner with no way out.. or at least until I had a good think about it and time to get used to the possibility of a new name. My husband was quite happy with what decision I would take, however I was torn.. I just needed time.
It wasn't that I didn't want to take on my husbands surname it was more that I didn't want to give mine up. I had that family name for 34 years, my work my friends, my Facebook.. that's who I was.. and well, I was attached.. What if people search for me on LinkedIn, who would they look for??!! I was an independent strong women, self built, stubborn and proud! I was somebody!
Fast forward 4 years and I laugh at my troubled time! What was I worried about!! I obviously had no real concept of losing my identity! I'm not belittling my concerns of the time, those thoughts were real, they were ingrained in building up my personality, my career.. However from the moment you give birth, from the moment you pass your genes on to another little human being, it seems you also passover your identity and you become 'Mum'. "This way 'Mum'", doesn't she look like you 'Mum', Hi (enter childs name) Mum".....aghhhh My name is not 'Mum' I am somebody.. I had a life before!
This of course is not to say I dislike being a mum, far from it, it's the most wonderful thing I've ever done, I love my daughter more than anything in the world and I do not begrudge her anything at all. However that does not take away from the fact My name is not MUM!!! Nearly 3 years has gone by, some people are just about learning my name, however now pregnant with my 2nd I can once again wave bye bye to my identity. So instead of getting annoyed, should I embrace it?..is it all about your offspring from now on, that was my purpose and my job is now done? (If this is the case I'm personally glad I waited to have children). For now I'm just biding my time, grinning through it, appeasing my inner self with the thought this won't last forever, I will one day get my identity and my name back. Just not any time soon, so Mums my name and for now I will wear it out!
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